girlDiary

It all comes and goes in waves. For ex how the word avatar starts popping up all over the dial; wearing Vamp nail polish for years, then not; certain memories:

Wide shot, Hollywood Hills afternoon nine years ago: glittering throngs lounge throughout phat garden of phat house of soon-to-drop-dead young film director - officially of a heart attack, off the record of an OD.

Zoom in on white-maned old man in cream linen on phat couch by phat swimming pool. I cross the entire set, sit next to him and yes, he's the real McCoy. An authentic living piece of the seventh art, my passion. Not to mention rock and roll, and television, and and and. Magnificent.

He'll reveal: "I saw you coming that day. You were really something."
I'll admit: "No clue why I dared walk up to you."
He'll reply: "It's cuz I'm the real McCoy and you're a natural, kid."

Cut to the present, Buenos Aires, in which these friends are reprimanding me: You Really Should Live Alone Stef!! Their disapproving little faces but they're not alone, they mess around with fucked-up boyfriends, more or less unreliable lovers; have never set foot outside this town, which they share with their sisters, mothers, college pals.

Wanting to scream I've Never Been More Alone In My Life but it's no use and all of a sudden I miss, miss, miss my bitch sisters overseas (where? losangelesromenewyorkberlin) and it's shocking:

I thought this feeling was gone for good but no, here it is, hello darkness my old friend, intact, violent like the very first day. They come and go in waves throughout the years: words, passions, habits, memories, people, and right as I finish writing this post the following hits my inbox:

I always think of u when I pass this store. Xoxo

It's my bitch sister in LA, via Blackberry. We haven't seen each other in nine years.

9 comments:

Mariana Soffer said...

Stef:
I loved this post, you almost made me cry darling, you wrote brillantlly, almost made me cry darling. I am going to call you right now, then we'll comment more
gorgeous babe

hermano said...

Surfing the lucky wave.

girlontape said...

thank you Mariana, I'm glad you find it moving, it means I did the right thing as I wrote!

Brothah: más o menos

jimena said...

cómo me gusta eso de que todo comes an goes in waves.
bueno, que estés bien. y feliz navidad.

girlontape said...

esperando la ultima ola
esperando la ultima rola
(manu chao dixit)
feliz feliz jimena!

Ray Errol Fox said...

Beautiful writing, Stef! I particularly love the "old man" scene and dialogue (touches of Malamud). What's Spanish for "wow!"?

girlontape said...

hi Errol, thank you very much, it really means something coming from you!
spanglish for wow is... guau :-)
Yes the old mogul was really something, love that generation's lingo... he drove me around in this gigantic cream Rolls... to match his cream linen, stylin!

Lindsey said...

I love this post! B*sisters ALWAYS know when other sisters need to be reminded of the sisterhood! :) xoxo!

girlontape said...

right on sister! i'm so glad :-)