the scorpion, poisoning the elephant as it gave him a ride across the river: I had to sting you even though we're both gonna drown...it's just my nature
my cheating husband, walking out on me on my birthday: I know you don't deserve this stef...but I just couldn't think of another way out
a friend, kicking me out at 3am without letting me call a cab first: I'm powerless to do otherwise stef...why can't you just feel my angst instead of focusing so much on your fear of being gangbanged by the crackheads partying on my stoop?
another friend, upon taking off with my books without saying goodbye: gotta diss you, cuz I said so
the vicomte de valmont, upon dumping mme. de tourvel: I am obliged to treat you like dirt...it's beyond my control
kamel: when people disappoint you, spread love