I heard it on the facevine

Alexandra: Feed a spirit, starve an ego.

Laura: I own a miniature model of the Costa Concordia – why?!

Laura’s friend: Tilt it, it’ll look more realistic.

Rob: Our relationship was like a Lou Reed song. Waves of Fear, or The Heroine.

An Argie health minister: She’s an 11-year-old rape victim, and she wants an abortion? Niet! Nature is wise…if she ovulated, she can handle a pregnancy.

Liz: If I don’t think he’ll be good enough for me in the future, why do I think he’s good enough for me now?

Cameron: ███ ██████ ██████ ████████ ██ ████ ██ ████ █████████
 This status update has been found in violation of H.R. 3261, S.O.P.A and has been removed.

Stef: Attempted pick-up by crashing bore at the club where I work: "I'd really love to know what's inside that head of yours... I'm sure there's something."

Jesse: Curiouser and curiouser…

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